Sex Addiction not just for Men

When we talk about sex addiction pictures arise in our mind of men, especially, with the #me too movement. However, women also struggle with sexual addiction. We do not think of the female sexual addict because cultural stereotypes portray women as not liking sex. Sexual issues in women tend to present as related to other conflicts. Therapists traditionally view female’s sexual acting out as a symptom of their diagnosis rather than a problem itself.

While a diagnosis of Bipolar will include inappropriate sexual behavior, the disorder can mask
the sexual addiction. Women often deny sexual addiction issues. They frame their conflict
exclusively as related to relationship problems. Thus, as a group female sexual addicts tend to
be more difficult to recognize and treat. Not many women seek individual therapy for “sexual
addictions.”

While female sexual addicts seek treatment for other issues it is only during individual therapy
that the sexual addiction becomes apparent. Comorbid issues such as; eating disorders,
alcoholism, drug addiction, depression or anxiety also mask the sex addiction. However, the
above mentions problems intricately connect to the woman’s sex addiction.

Females don’t admit their sexual addictions also because of the societal shame associated with
sexual acting out in women. These individuals are described by others as “whores,” “sluts,” or
“nymphomaniacs” who then hide their behavior rather than dealing with the negative labels.

Both married and single women exhibit sexual addictions. The two groups demonstrate some
similar reasons for engaging in sexual addictive behaviors but also some divergent ones. Single
women may long for a relationship while simultaneously being relationship avoidant. They may
find themselves unable to tolerate being alone instead always seeking a partner. Lastly, some
single women use sex as a means of self-medication to help with their intense emotional
turmoil.

Married women at risk for acting out sexually complain about feeling underappreciated,
rejected, or ignored by their partners. They exhibit terrible relationships with their husbands
and search outside the marriage for intimacy and sexual fulfillment. Both groups of female
addicts use sex to remedy their loneliness, boredom or sense of emptiness.

The reasons single or married women become addicted to sex are very complicated. Individual
treatment can help you find your way back to a more fulfilling existence with true intimacy and
better self-esteem. If you think you may be a sexual addict, please call to schedule your
individual therapy appointment today. Dr. Goschi can be reached at (312)595-1787 or by email
at barbara@drgoschi.com

To Touch or Not to Touch

Sex Addiction Therapy, Chicago and Wilmette. Il.

Individuals no longer seem to understand healthy parameters of a loving, consensual sexual relationship. Someone told me about a disturbing episode on Vice news. The couple on the show discussed sexual interactions between husband and wife. According to this couple, an individual must “always” ask permission to touch their partner. This meant that if a wife wanted to grab her husband’s butt she needed explicit permission from him first. The conversation went from confusing to more confusing.

Common sense has flown out the window when it comes to rules of sexual interaction. Therapists encourage couples to engage in playful, spontaneous sexual expression during sex therapy. In the above-mentioned conversation, the couple described sexual playfulness and spontaneity as bordering on abusive. This commentary is completely ridiculous.

Your sexual intimacies as a couple should not be dictated by what reporters, television shows, or what culture defines as politically correct. Your sexual relationship with your partner should include mutually agreed upon loving interactions between the two of you. Romantic exchanges between the two of you may include spontaneous, erotic, and romantic sexual expressions.

What makes good sex? Good sex results from shutting off our big brains, while engaging in good communication, and focusing on pleasure. When a couple feels comfortable and safe with each other they can ask for what turns them on without fear of scorn or rejection. When you communicate well with your partner it’s very difficult for either one or the other to feel misunderstood or threatened by touching. If you don’t like it if your husband grabs your breasts while you’re doing some chore tell him. Most often couples want to please each other.

If you find that you are struggling with communication or sexual issues either as an individual or in your marriage don’t hesitate to call Dr. Goschi to schedule your appointment. Dr. Goschi can be reached at (312)595-1787 or by email at barbara@drgoschi.com

Conflicts Over Aging Parents

So many individuals in their fifties and early sixties deal with aging parents. By middle age you’ve mastered your careers, parenting, and your relationships. You even enjoy your own parents and their involvement with your children. However, as your parents continue to grow old everything changes.

Life seemed full and manageable just a few years ago. You looked forward to traveling more and enjoying your time as empty nesters. Now it’s as if you have young children all over again. This time caring for someone doesn’t hold the promise it once did. There’s simply no good end to this story.

Many of you find yourselves responsible for aging parents. Either they struggle with a debilitating disease in which they need constant assistance, or they struggle financially and now live with you.

Siblings can complicate caring for your aged parents. Suddenly fighting breaks out over where your parents should live or who cares for them. Family members vying for control over how their parents spend out their last dollar. The conflict gets ugly fast.

You thought you had this all figured out. For example, your parents didn’t want to live in a nursing home, so you want them to live with you, however, your brother doesn’t want to help with the care giving. Or maybe, your sister thinks all the money should be relinquished so that your parents qualify for Medicaid. Just a few of the very complicated scenarios facing “the sandwich generation.”

Family members fight about aging parents. The one common feature in highly conflictual situations is that the conflict usually doesn’t end well. Sometimes, siblings don’t speak to each other after the death of the last parent. The pressures are huge. Interacting with each other in a rational manner without one or all of you becoming extremely upset no longer exists.

How can family consultation help with these issues? Consultation can bring you together to talk about and come to agreements on what needs to happen. Each person comes to an understanding of how things are going to progress. No one individual possesses complete control. Instead, you reach mutually agreed upon decisions. This gets everyone off the hook.

If you would like to set up a consultation with Dr. Goschi don’t hesitate to call her at (312)595-1787 or email her at barbara@drgoschi.com. I look forward to helping the healing process begin.