Conflicts Over Aging Parents

So many individuals in their fifties and early sixties deal with aging parents. By middle age you’ve mastered your careers, parenting, and your relationships. You even enjoy your own parents and their involvement with your children. However, as your parents continue to grow old everything changes.

Life seemed full and manageable just a few years ago. You looked forward to traveling more and enjoying your time as empty nesters. Now it’s as if you have young children all over again. This time caring for someone doesn’t hold the promise it once did. There’s simply no good end to this story.

Many of you find yourselves responsible for aging parents. Either they struggle with a debilitating disease in which they need constant assistance, or they struggle financially and now live with you.

Siblings can complicate caring for your aged parents. Suddenly fighting breaks out over where your parents should live or who cares for them. Family members vying for control over how their parents spend out their last dollar. The conflict gets ugly fast.

You thought you had this all figured out. For example, your parents didn’t want to live in a nursing home, so you want them to live with you, however, your brother doesn’t want to help with the care giving. Or maybe, your sister thinks all the money should be relinquished so that your parents qualify for Medicaid. Just a few of the very complicated scenarios facing “the sandwich generation.”

Family members fight about aging parents. The one common feature in highly conflictual situations is that the conflict usually doesn’t end well. Sometimes, siblings don’t speak to each other after the death of the last parent. The pressures are huge. Interacting with each other in a rational manner without one or all of you becoming extremely upset no longer exists.

How can family consultation help with these issues? Consultation can bring you together to talk about and come to agreements on what needs to happen. Each person comes to an understanding of how things are going to progress. No one individual possesses complete control. Instead, you reach mutually agreed upon decisions. This gets everyone off the hook.

If you would like to set up a consultation with Dr. Goschi don’t hesitate to call her at (312)595-1787 or email her at barbara@drgoschi.com. I look forward to helping the healing process begin.

ADD and the Evolving Workplace

As technology evolves, workplaces continue to change. Many workplaces offer work from home opportunities, allowing employees to do their jobs without stepping foot in a workplace. Working in a bathrobe and slippers without leaving the house may sounds luxurious to some.

For people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder (or ADD), a condition known to impact a person's ability to focus or complete tasks, remote work may make it difficult to complete tasks. Fortunately, there are ways to address these challenges utilizing one or more of the following strategies:

1. Get a noise machine

ADD can cause car horns, thunder, and other everyday sounds to shift concentration away from work. Getting a noise machine can help to drown out background noise, making focusing on tasks more manageable.  Noise machines come with different sounds, such as white noise or rain sounds. There is no one size fits all way to program the machine; try experimenting with different sound and volume settings to see what works best for you.

2. See a psychiatrist

Stimulants are commonly utilized by psychiatrists to help patients with ADD stay focused. Additionally, some anti depressants can be used off label to help manage ADD side effects. Speak with a psychiatrist to explore what option may work best for you.

3. Go to therapy

For people with and without mental health diagnoses, task completion can be difficult when there is a lot on the mind. This is particularly true or people with conditions that impede their ability to maintain concentration. Talking to a therapist can help process emotions you may be struggling with. In addition, some therapists can help identify and work on coping skills specifically related to ADD symptoms.

4. Workout

Staying focused while sedentary at home the whole day is nearly impossible. Incorporating exercise into a workday has been shown to improve productivity and concentration. This does not necessarily mean you need to join a gym. Something as simple as taking a long walk or doing a yoga video can be helpful.

ADD symptom management is possible, even when working remotely! Anyone with the condition can try these different coping skills to help mitigate symptoms associated with ADD.

Written by: Sara Fraum

5 Practical Ways to Survive this Holiday Season

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This Holiday season is like none we've ever seen. The isolation can be intense. What does this do to our Holiday traditions, the parties, the friends and the family members which make our season bright? Here are 5 practical ways to survive this Holiday season while managing stress, depression and anxiety: 

1. Don't isolate yourself: Those of you who are completely alone might consider staying 

with your family or have another single friend spend a couple weeks with you. If you have your own family engage in fun activities that ignite some new traditions. For example, some people have opted to go cut down a live Christmas tree. Record yourself Christmas caroling with some of your friends and send them as Holiday cards. The possibilities are endless. 

2. Put your marital conflict on hold: Vow to resolve your problems after the Holiday 

season. Focus instead on what is positive about your relationship. Why did you originally fall in love? Of course, this doesn't mean if the conflict is so intense that you are hurting each other. If that is the case perhaps you could isolate from each other during this time. Go home to your respective families to catch a break. 

3. Keep a Holiday Journal: Write down your feelings about this Holiday season both 

negative and positive. It's much better to externalize our emotions. It's also easier to identify emotional patterns after you've been logging them for a while. After the Holiday season is over you can make an effort to work on resolving the negative emotions. You could also focus on what you're grateful for in your life. This helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life. Talk about what's working for you right now. 

4. Pick up a new skill set: Wanting to learn a new language? Perhaps look for an online 

class or group that's learning via Babble. Find a new hobby that involves individual time as well activities with others. 

5. Read a great self help book: Wanting to work on your self-esteem, over-eating or anger 

issues. Now is the time to get a head start on doing something positive to help you grow emotionally and psychologically. Start the new year on the right path. 

Any effort you make to change your life will pay off in the long run. I know that it can be difficult to make these changes by yourself. If you need help don't hesitate to call. We're here 

Check out at info@greaterchicagocounseling.com or by phone at (312)955-0319.